Banta goes to the local novelty shop and finds a pair of x-ray glasses.(Chashme) He checks them out, and isn't fully convinced, but as usual,
The store assistant comes along and closes the deal.
On his way home, Banta puts on his new x-ray glasses and, bingo! He sees everyone in the street naked. He takes them off for a moment, and
everyone has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on... Everyone is naked! "Cool!"
As he arrives back home, he is eager to show his new toy to his wife, Preeto, but can't find her. He goes up to the bedroom and finds his wife and
one of his colleagues, naked in bed. He takes his glasses off, and the two are still naked. He puts them back on, and they are still naked.
Banta says, "Oh teri dee, I just paid fifty bucks for it, aur kharab bhi ho gaya. Lagda Made in China hai !! !!!!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
A Wednesday
All of you who have seen the movie ‘Wednesday’... will love these rephrased Naseerudin Shah Dialogue’s...
Project Manager Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?
Unkonwn Caller : Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...
mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..
mein vo hoon jiski biwi usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? " mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe boss ke bulane pe mein saturdary ko bhi office to nahi ja raha...
mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...
mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.
Walk-In ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..
I'm the…..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER....
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, August 23, 2007
A Wonderfull Story
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"
" We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest ."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !!!!!!"
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"
" We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest ."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !!!!!!"
The Secret behind the number 11
The Secret behind the number 11
Pretty Chilling - read to the bottom. Try it out.
If you are a sceptical person - still read on as it's actually very interesting!!
This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it all first)
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters. (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.
Sheer coincidence..?
Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254.
2 + 5 + 4 = 11
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:
"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.
Unconvinced about all of this still ..?
Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in upper case Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers .
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS……………………
Pretty Chilling - read to the bottom. Try it out.
If you are a sceptical person - still read on as it's actually very interesting!!
This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it all first)
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters. (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.
Sheer coincidence..?
Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254.
2 + 5 + 4 = 11
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:
"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.
Unconvinced about all of this still ..?
Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:
Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in upper case Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers .
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS……………………
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Lamp Gives Light, Tree Gives Shade
The greatness of an individual lies not in what he accumulates but what he gives. Jesus is great because he suffered on the cross so that we are saved. Gandhi was great as he fought for freedom and equality. Mother Teresa was great as she spent her life serving poor, sick and destitute.
You need not be someone of great means to give. A lamp burns its own existence till the last moment to fight darkness and give light. Tree never asks anything for itself, but give flowers, fruits and shades to all who needs it. This kind of sacrifice is only possible for those, whose heart his filled with love and compassion for others. Their spirit has a passion for serving and an ability to feel pain of others in their own soul. It requires a go-give attitude more than a go-get attitude.
Dashrath Manjhi, a poor, illiterate, landless laborer, who lives in a backward village called Gahlore situated in the sate of Bihar in Eastern India. What a person like him could give to others?
Dashrath worked on a field near the hill that rose near the village. This hill stood between his village and civilization with only a treacherous pass between it. Since most of the cultivable land and shops were on other side of the hill, the poor villagers had to brave the dangerous pass number of times in a day. The authorities kept turning a blind eye towards the problems for decades.
One day, his wife slipped and got injured while crossing the pass on the hill, while bringing lunch for him. The incident disturbed Dashrath so much that he decided to do something about it. He sold his goat, to purchase a chisel, hammer and a rope. And with these simple equipments he set of to dig a tunnel through the mountain, all by himself. He dug for 22 years to create a passage that is 360 ft. long, 25 feet high and 16 ft wide, enough for a vehicle to pass.
People called him mad, but he was a man with a purpose. Today, because of him the life of his fellow villagers has become easier. He has thrown the doors open for the development of his village as the passage reduced the distance between two districts from 50 km to just 8 km. The state government rewarded his achievement by giving him five acres of land.
But his story does not end here. Unfortunately, his wife did not survive to witness the miracle her husband has created. She died of an illness without treatment because of lack of proper medical facilities. So, now he wants to build a hospital on the land he got as reward. After unsuccessful attempts to get assistance from the local government in this regard, he decided to meet the President of India. Since he did not have enough money to buy a railway ticket he walked on foot a distance of nearly thousand kilometers. Somebody rightly said that when dreams are big enough facts don’t count.
This poor, illiterate gentleman, belonging to the most unprivileged class of Indian society is a perfect example of success. His go-give attitude, his compassion, dream, courage, faith in himself, determination and perseverance raises him to level of greatness.
In our mundane life full of rat race for accumulation of wealth and worldly pleasure, let us take out some time to give a bit of ourselves. Let us become a slightly better human being than what we already are. After all the supreme purpose of our lives is to spread happiness and help others and that is the greatest gift of all.
You need not be someone of great means to give. A lamp burns its own existence till the last moment to fight darkness and give light. Tree never asks anything for itself, but give flowers, fruits and shades to all who needs it. This kind of sacrifice is only possible for those, whose heart his filled with love and compassion for others. Their spirit has a passion for serving and an ability to feel pain of others in their own soul. It requires a go-give attitude more than a go-get attitude.
Dashrath Manjhi, a poor, illiterate, landless laborer, who lives in a backward village called Gahlore situated in the sate of Bihar in Eastern India. What a person like him could give to others?
Dashrath worked on a field near the hill that rose near the village. This hill stood between his village and civilization with only a treacherous pass between it. Since most of the cultivable land and shops were on other side of the hill, the poor villagers had to brave the dangerous pass number of times in a day. The authorities kept turning a blind eye towards the problems for decades.
One day, his wife slipped and got injured while crossing the pass on the hill, while bringing lunch for him. The incident disturbed Dashrath so much that he decided to do something about it. He sold his goat, to purchase a chisel, hammer and a rope. And with these simple equipments he set of to dig a tunnel through the mountain, all by himself. He dug for 22 years to create a passage that is 360 ft. long, 25 feet high and 16 ft wide, enough for a vehicle to pass.
People called him mad, but he was a man with a purpose. Today, because of him the life of his fellow villagers has become easier. He has thrown the doors open for the development of his village as the passage reduced the distance between two districts from 50 km to just 8 km. The state government rewarded his achievement by giving him five acres of land.
But his story does not end here. Unfortunately, his wife did not survive to witness the miracle her husband has created. She died of an illness without treatment because of lack of proper medical facilities. So, now he wants to build a hospital on the land he got as reward. After unsuccessful attempts to get assistance from the local government in this regard, he decided to meet the President of India. Since he did not have enough money to buy a railway ticket he walked on foot a distance of nearly thousand kilometers. Somebody rightly said that when dreams are big enough facts don’t count.
This poor, illiterate gentleman, belonging to the most unprivileged class of Indian society is a perfect example of success. His go-give attitude, his compassion, dream, courage, faith in himself, determination and perseverance raises him to level of greatness.
In our mundane life full of rat race for accumulation of wealth and worldly pleasure, let us take out some time to give a bit of ourselves. Let us become a slightly better human being than what we already are. After all the supreme purpose of our lives is to spread happiness and help others and that is the greatest gift of all.
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